"Same procedure as every year!"

We don't have many traditions for New Year's Eve. Sometimes we go out for dinner with family and friends; other years will find us in front of the Edinburgh Military Tattoo on the television, but there's one thing that we never miss - the crazy Dinner for One.

How an obscure British skit, written in the 1920's, could become a New Year's tradition over much of Europe is a mystery, but I have watched it every year since I spent Christmas in Norway 23 years ago. Now, thanks to You Tube, you can watch it too...



So here's the plot...such as it is:

Elderly Miss Sophie loves to celebrate her birthday every year with a dinner party. She sets the table for her closest friends - Sir Toby, Mr. Pommeroy, Mr. Winterbottom, and Admiral von Schneider- and wines them and dines them in style. The only problem is, the last of the men died 25 years ago...

Enter loyal butler, James...

Every year since, James has manfully saved the occasion by playacting each missing guest in turn. He serves both drinks and food while quaffing toasts on behalf of each guest - three soused British noblemen and the German von Schneider, who toasts Miss Sophie with a heel-click and a throaty "Skål!" You can imagine what happens with all that alcohol... James sways to and fro, has an ongoing argument with the tiger-pelt rug, spray-fires the table with mispoured drinks, and downs a little water from a flower vase.

Each course begins with James asking: "The same procedure as last year, madam?" Each time Miss Sophie replies: "The same procedure as every year, James." The sketch ends with James' final "procedure" - you can only guess what that might be...

The film is not politically correct. James and Miss Sophie are well and truly sozzled - and end up rather immoral as well, but my family will be watching it this New Year's Eve - along with half of the population of Germany and viewers in Sweden, Denmark, Finland, Faroe Islands, Austria, South Africa and Australia. (In Norway where I first saw it it views on Little Christmas Eve - 23rd December.) It is the most repeated television programme in history...

Why? Because Dinner for One is very funny.

The 10 minute You Tube video is in English - the introduction is in German.

Have a look. It really is funny - I promise!!

Oh and a "Glückliches Neujahr!" from me and my family to you and yours!!