Sorry, Mr Truant Officer, we don't do it very often, honestly, but when Daddy came home unexpectedly over lunch our DVD of Handel's Messiah just didn't do it for us any more. We had to go out for a walk - we just had to. Honest, Sir.
Then we reached the suspension bridge, and we just had to jump on it to make it sway - you know how it is - surely you do - and play pooh sticks - you can't stand on a bridge and not do that - it's tradition. You must understand tradition.
We didn't plan to visit the playground, but you know playgrounds, Sir. They just jump out and grab you. We tried to get away - and we didn't enjoy ourselves, not one little bit.
In fact, I think Daddy might be regreting his over exertion for some time - his old muscles don't cope as well as mine. How could you think we wanted to go there?
You didn't expect us to miss lunch, Sir - everyone's allowed lunch, aren't they - even on a school day. And it was healthy sir, just one little bitty chocolate donut - oh, and the Coke, but it was diet Sir. It was healthy Coke.
We started going home straight after lunch, Sir, we really did, but you can't go past a big tree without climbing it can you? Surely you wouldn't begrudge me that?
I only ran down the oxalis covered hills once. Well, okay, a few times...(it was really steep at the top.)
That would have been the end until I found the hollow tree, Sir. It was calling to me - saying my name like the wind, "Jemimah...Jemimah...Jemimah..." It would have been rude not to answer, wouldn't it? That's what Mummy says. Then, when I saw it I realised that it would make a perfect cubby. You could live in a tree like that, Sir!
I'm really sorry, Mr Truant Officer.
It will never happen again...