I realise that we fail miserably in our responsibility of behaving like homeschoolers.
We have only one child to begin with. That, of course, is probably our biggest failing. Not only that, we immunise her. Against almost everything. We are proponents of mainstream western medicine, and we don't embrace naturopathy, osteopathy, homeopathy, biomesotherapy, Buteyko, Chi nei tsang, kinesiology or ear candling, although my husband does visit a chiropractor occasionally, and we are fond addicts of both remedial and relaxation massage and of incense - not for its aromatherapeutic properties but because it smells nice. I worked for more than ten years for huge multinational pharmaceutical companies, and do not regard them as harbingers of evil.
We eat white rice, white bread, MSG, red meat, dairy products and sugar, although we do prepare most of our foods ourselves and rarely purchase it pre-packaged in a carton, tin or jar. We do not eat them all in the same meal. We drink wine. And champagne. And soft drink. And Diet Coke, full of chemical additives. We all like McDonalds.
We are Sabbath observers. We practice exclusive Psalmody and we sing no hymns. We believe in a young earth. We do not celebrate Christmas or Easter as religious holidays, but Santa, the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy are all parts of childhood fun. We read about fairytale witches and magic, but not the occult or new age religions. We are very afraid of books like this.
We have a television, and we listen to modern music. And classical, and Kitaro, which some call New Age, but we call nice.
We like Growing Kids God's Way and Garry and Anne Marie Ezzo, but we continually evaluate and refine our parenting methods, depending more on God's grace than on the expertise and ingenuity of others.
Three times I have started the next paragraph, but I think it is too controversial and I think you will un-follow me if I leave it, so I won't.
I will leave you with a photo of our new season's Birkies. Mine, and Jemimah's. Soon hers will be bigger than mine, but so far I win. In this, at least, we look like homeschoolers. In this our behaviour is typical.
There had to be something.